Real Talk: How Do You Measure Your Self-Worth?

If you are new around my site, occasionally I’ll write posts I like to call “Real Talk”. I use them as an opportunity to discuss a topic that is on my heart lately and they are often related to issues that women are facing. To see previous Real Talk posts, click here

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about self-worth. In the world we live in, we are constantly inundated with messages trying to affect our self-worth. That you should be skinnier, richer, sexier or that for you to feel good about yourself you must do X and Y. That when you look in the mirror you should constantly strive to be more. And honestly? It’s exhausting. What the ads and magazines and shows don’t tell you though, is that your self-worth is not synonymous with any of these things! In fact, the methods of measurement don’t even work! Just like you wouldn’t measure the length of a table with a measuring cup, you can’t measure your self-worth with your weight, number of likes you receive or bank account either!

Woman's Shadow


Your worth is not measured by the number on the scale. 

Whether you weigh yourself daily or the only time you are weighed is at the doctor’s office, the number on the scale does not define you. That number holds an odd power because it can make you feel bummed or excited and rarely anything in-between in a matter of seconds. But here’s the thing… your body weight fluctuates and by attaching such strong emotions to a number, it gives it the power to change your outlook. And that number is only a small measurement of one thing and if you are twenty pounds underweight or overweight or somewhere in between, it will never be able to really measure the type of person you are. Also falling under this category for inaccurate measurements of worth are the number of times you went to the gym this week or the size that you take into the fitting room.

Your worth is not measured by the amount of likes you get on Facebook and Instagram.

Since we live in a digital world where a large portion of our social interaction happens online, it makes sense that we might get confused here. When we receive likes on a post, we feel good and in turn, feel good about ourselves. The reverse sometimes happens too, as when we don’t receive a lot of likes for a certain photo, we wonder if it really isn’t that good of a picture at all and begin to doubt ourselves. But the response we receive is just that… a response, based on a pixelated image on a screen and doesn’t say anything about who you really are.

Your worth is not measured by the amount of money in your bank account.

Money can measure many things (aka how much something costs) but it can’t measure who you are as a person. This one feels so cut and dry and yet it’s one that I think a lot of people struggle with. If you don’t have that much money then you might feel ashamed or embarrassed and let that define you. But if you have a lot of money then that doesn’t make you a better person either. It’s something that we judge ourselves and others on by attaching attributes to it like driven or successful, when really, those qualities aren’t defined by how much money you have in the bank.

So tell me, what other things don’t define your worth?

Take 5 Friday

Hi lovelies! Happy Friday! Sorry I didn’t post yesterday, I came home late Wednesday night and was just too exhausted to write a post. I hope you all have had a great week! Mine has been so busy that it has flown by and all of the sudden it’s the weekend again… love when that happens! Tonight I’m going to an event with some girlfriends and tomorrow an event with my Grandma… details and pictures to follow!

Now let’s move on to Take 5 Friday: my bi-monthly list of 5 things that you can do to make a difference that will take you less than 5 minutes!

1. Join the Dove Movement for Self-Esteem!

Remember that amazing campaign Dove did a few years ago to campaign for real beauty? Recently, they have launched a new movement for self-esteem to provide women everywhere with opportunities to mentor the next generation and celebrate real beauty. They also recently released findings from the largest global study on women’s relationship with beauty and found that only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful and that anxiety about looks begins at a very early age. It’s time to change this for all the women in our life! Start by browsing the Inspire a Girl Tool-kit for ideas or simply sign up to join the movement and be updated on the great things that Dove is doing!

2. Write a Note to a Teacher!

We all have a teacher who made an impact on our lives, whether it be big or small. Sometimes the lessons they teach us that make the most difference are the ones that they never get to hear about. Like one of my college professors who took the time to email me back late at night when I was going through a difficult time with medical issues and was worried about missing class. I think that teachers are so underappreciated but this campaign is striving to change that! With Thanks For Teaching you can write a quick note online to a teacher that made a difference and they will publish it on the website for the next 30 days. People from all over the world are doing this and it’s inspiring to see all the lives that teachers have changed.

3. Support Charity: Water!

Charity: Water is an amazing organization that is striving to end the water crisis that affects 1 billion people living without clean drinking water. The truth is, water affects everything: education, health, poverty and especially women and children. But in the past 5 years, they’ve been able to help bring clean water to two million people in need. Now they are trying to raise the money to buy another drilling rig that will provide 40,000 people with water each year. Normally I don’t ask for people to donate money since everyone’s financial situation is different, but this is a cause truly worth supporting, even with $1 or the $3.50 you would have spent on a coffee today. Charity: Water is all about accountability too and donates 100% to clean water (not employee salaries) and shows films and gps locations of everywhere your money is going.

4. Donate Old Clothes!


Let’s face it, you are probably never going to wear those jeans in the back of your closet or that shirt that ‘never really fit right but you bought because it was on sale’ again. Yet, they take up prime space in your closet and don’t serve a purpose. But they could make a real difference in someone else’s life- that suit could be the outfit that a homeless woman wears to an interview that lands her a job and takes her off the streets. It could be the outfit that a student gets to wear for their first day of school, feeling confident for the first time. Your old clothes can be doing great things in this world, so find a shelter or organization to donate to today!

5. Thank a 9/11 Hero

As the 10th anniversary of 9/11 just passed, I am filled with such sorrow for what happened and gratitude for all who have sacrificed. This great website shows you a picture and a short synopsis of heros from that day. By signing in with your Facebook account, you can write a short note of thanks to these incredible men and women.

Have a great weekend everyone and Take 5!!


-What would you thank a teacher for?

-What message would you like to tell young girls regarding body image?