Real Talk: How Do You Measure Your Self-Worth?

If you are new around my site, occasionally I’ll write posts I like to call “Real Talk”. I use them as an opportunity to discuss a topic that is on my heart lately and they are often related to issues that women are facing. To see previous Real Talk posts, click here

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about self-worth. In the world we live in, we are constantly inundated with messages trying to affect our self-worth. That you should be skinnier, richer, sexier or that for you to feel good about yourself you must do X and Y. That when you look in the mirror you should constantly strive to be more. And honestly? It’s exhausting. What the ads and magazines and shows don’t tell you though, is that your self-worth is not synonymous with any of these things! In fact, the methods of measurement don’t even work! Just like you wouldn’t measure the length of a table with a measuring cup, you can’t measure your self-worth with your weight, number of likes you receive or bank account either!

Woman's Shadow

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Your worth is not measured by the number on the scale. 

Whether you weigh yourself daily or the only time you are weighed is at the doctor’s office, the number on the scale does not define you. That number holds an odd power because it can make you feel bummed or excited and rarely anything in-between in a matter of seconds. But here’s the thing… your body weight fluctuates and by attaching such strong emotions to a number, it gives it the power to change your outlook. And that number is only a small measurement of one thing and if you are twenty pounds underweight or overweight or somewhere in between, it will never be able to really measure the type of person you are. Also falling under this category for inaccurate measurements of worth are the number of times you went to the gym this week or the size that you take into the fitting room.

Your worth is not measured by the amount of likes you get on Facebook and Instagram.

Since we live in a digital world where a large portion of our social interaction happens online, it makes sense that we might get confused here. When we receive likes on a post, we feel good and in turn, feel good about ourselves. The reverse sometimes happens too, as when we don’t receive a lot of likes for a certain photo, we wonder if it really isn’t that good of a picture at all and begin to doubt ourselves. But the response we receive is just that… a response, based on a pixelated image on a screen and doesn’t say anything about who you really are.

Your worth is not measured by the amount of money in your bank account.

Money can measure many things (aka how much something costs) but it can’t measure who you are as a person. This one feels so cut and dry and yet it’s one that I think a lot of people struggle with. If you don’t have that much money then you might feel ashamed or embarrassed and let that define you. But if you have a lot of money then that doesn’t make you a better person either. It’s something that we judge ourselves and others on by attaching attributes to it like driven or successful, when really, those qualities aren’t defined by how much money you have in the bank.

So tell me, what other things don’t define your worth?

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3 thoughts on “Real Talk: How Do You Measure Your Self-Worth?

  1. This is so true and something I always have to tell myself. I am currently working in a job I think is “below” me, A lot of time if you notice, we ask people, “So what do you do for a living?” and a lot of people I know my age are doing such amazing things. Which is great! But of course I want to have a job I am proud of. My grandma told me, “Your life isn’t your job, your life is outside your job.” So stop putting so much pressure on it! So to answer your question, I know for me, I put a lot of self worth on my job.

  2. I love these!! Lately I’ve been going to a ton of barre classes and yoga classes where there are lots of teeny tiny girls who are way more flexible/thin/pretty etc etc etc than I am. But you know what? I like having hips and I know I am very strong and I just have to remind myself that comparison is the thief of joy. 🙂

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